I’m still not sure how I feel about Kim changing jobs so soon after we started our work together. Maybe someone new is a good thing and will be an exercise in change and being able to work towards handling stress better. I dunno. I’m still kinda meh on the subject. I like her, shes got energy that I really wish I could siphon off.
I’ve started the process of gathering “documentation” for the financial aid petition. It seems like I would need an encyclopedia of papers to back up my case but maybe just the diagnostic is only what I need. Besides my narrative. Which my stomach is turning now thinking about writing. Why do I get such a physical reaction to doing things that can only lead to good things for myself?
What the hell am I afraid of?
Dad looked better today. I think the flourescent lighing at Evergreen made us all look haggard and not healthy. He was out in the yard in his pickup truck moving trash. He had much better colour on his face. Now it’s back to the waiting game for the results of his CT scan on Monday. He deserves to be healthy again. God knows he worked so hard to support us all.
My car is fine, Dad. I know you’re worried about me and think that anything outside of Thomas County is a danger to me, but I’m going to be ok. If you can’t believe that how can I ever believe it? I know you’re worried about me, but I have to grow up sometime and it wont be in Pavo. I live inside this warped cocoon and Im staying stagnant yet everyone I know is changing. I don’t want to be 40 and still stuck. I don’t think I’d live that long living this way.
After R, S and I returned home from Dad’s party, they went out with S’s metal detector to search for Louie’s lost name tag. They didn’t find it, but Im touched they remembered. Maybe he lost it in the house before he died and I’ve yet to come across it.
Tuesday, May 4th, 2010, 8:53 pm | 
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